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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 13, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer

Strength37
Speed73
Endurance64
Technique86
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Verne Troyer VS Stu Trololol
Stu Trololol

Stu Trololol

25Strength
60Speed
40Endurance
95Technique
1.3Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stu Trololol
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule