TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Professor Punches
Strength85
Speed82
Endurance89
Technique99
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread40
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Professor Punches VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy
90Strength
80Speed
100Endurance
84Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
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