TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-24-25
APPROVED
Yurts Buttercup
Strength78
Speed88
Endurance82
Technique75
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yurts Buttercup VS Kevlar Breakfast
Kevlar Breakfast
95Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
70Technique
5.1Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Kevlar Breakfast
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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