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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 13, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Anarchy Moonbeam

Anarchy Moonbeam

Strength65
Speed92
Endurance68
Technique95
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread98
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anarchy Moonbeam VS Slurpee Samurai Steve
Slurpee Samurai Steve

Slurpee Samurai Steve

80Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Slurpee Samurai Steve
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule