TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-14-25
APPROVED
Karen "Compliance" Thompson
Strength65
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Karen "Compliance" Thompson VS LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
75Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
85Technique
2.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Karen "Compliance" Thompson
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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