TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-31-25
APPROVED
Flat Earth Fred
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread99
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Flat Earth Fred VS Comfort Gecko
Comfort Gecko
50Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
92Technique
0.3Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
4Fingers
4Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Flat Earth Fred
Violence concluded.
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