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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-31-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, July 31, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Lady Chaos

Lady Chaos

Strength70
Speed90
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lady Chaos VS Quarterly Report Jones
Quarterly Report Jones

Quarterly Report Jones

60Strength
75Speed
90Endurance
88Technique
2.6Molecular Density
87Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Lady Chaos
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule