TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-20-25
APPROVED
Splinter Under Fingernail
Strength80
Speed68
Endurance72
Technique80
Molecular Density3.6
Existential Dread89
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Splinter Under Fingernail VS Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
71Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
74Technique
3.2Molecular Density
63Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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