TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-31-25
APPROVED
Suds Sullivan
Strength90
Speed65
Endurance85
Technique82
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Suds Sullivan VS Wedgie Magnet
Wedgie Magnet
35Strength
60Speed
55Endurance
55Technique
1.1Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Suds Sullivan
Violence concluded.
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