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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Wedgie Magnet

The Participation Trophies Emotional
☠️
RECORD 3W 14L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Wedgie Magnet

LORE

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Combat Attributes

Strength
35
Speed
60
Endurance
55
Technique
55

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type lunch money
Horoscope Pisces
Molecular Density 1.1
Existential Dread 88
Fingers 8
Toes 12
Ancestors 34
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights