TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
SwizzleSchtick
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density33.3
Existential Dread96
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
SwizzleSchtick VS Boiling Singularity Vapors
Boiling Singularity Vapors
120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
8.1Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
17Fingers
3Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
SwizzleSchtick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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