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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 1, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Returns Policy Rita

Returns Policy Rita

Strength65
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Returns Policy Rita VS Twitch Streamer Tyler
Twitch Streamer Tyler

Twitch Streamer Tyler

55Strength
88Speed
65Endurance
92Technique
1.8Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Twitch Streamer Tyler
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule