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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 1, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mayhem Breakfast

Mayhem Breakfast

Strength75
Speed88
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"

Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"

80Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
88Technique
2.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule