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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-07-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, November 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"

LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"

Strength75
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network" VS Karen "Compliance" Thompson
Karen "Compliance" Thompson

Karen "Compliance" Thompson

65Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
2.1Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Violence concluded.
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