TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-02-25
APPROVED
The Carbonara Killer
Strength80
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique92
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread50
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Carbonara Killer VS TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
40Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
88Technique
0.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Carbonara Killer
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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