TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
Steven Seagal
Strength60
Speed40
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Steven Seagal VS Howie Dorough
Howie Dorough
40Strength
65Speed
55Endurance
82Technique
1.4Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Howie Dorough
Violence concluded.
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