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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 17, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Empyrean Angel

Empyrean Angel

Strength70
Speed40
Endurance100
Technique90
Molecular Density25.4
Existential Dread8
Fingers6
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Empyrean Angel VS Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish

Comfort Septemberish

50Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Empyrean Angel
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule