TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
Paul McCartney
Strength55
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Paul McCartney VS Maybe Tomorrow
Maybe Tomorrow
55Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Paul McCartney
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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