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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 17, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"

Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"

Strength85
Speed70
Endurance88
Technique98
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare" VS The Submitted for Approval
The Submitted for Approval

The Submitted for Approval

70Strength
95Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule