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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-18-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Deductible Dave "The Crusher"

Deductible Dave "The Crusher"

Strength71
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique74
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread63
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Deductible Dave "The Crusher" VS Out of Network Nancy
Out of Network Nancy

Out of Network Nancy

78Strength
66Speed
79Endurance
77Technique
2.7Molecular Density
76Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule