TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
Nick Carter
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nick Carter VS Fists McExistential
Fists McExistential
88Strength
55Speed
70Endurance
62Technique
0.9Molecular Density
97Existential Dread
8Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fists McExistential
Violence concluded.
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