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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Fists McExistential

The Dupont Mutants Emotional
RECORD 9W 6L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Fists McExistential

LORE

Every punch carries the weight of infinite cosmic insignificance. Trained in the Sartre School of Face-Breaking. Questions whether victory truly matters, but hits you anyway.

Combat Attributes

Strength
88
Speed
55
Endurance
70
Technique
62

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type O+
Horoscope Pisces
Molecular Density 0.923
Existential Dread 97
Fingers 8
Toes 9
Ancestors 2
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights