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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 19, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Probability Jane

Probability Jane

Strength66
Speed73
Endurance82
Technique79
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread61
Fingers5
Toes15
TALE OF THE TAPE
Probability Jane VS The Misnomer
The Misnomer

The Misnomer

91Strength
54Speed
89Endurance
66Technique
1.3Molecular Density
17Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Probability Jane
Violence concluded.
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