TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
Engine Eberhardt
Strength90
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Engine Eberhardt VS Stretch Filigree
Stretch Filigree
50Strength
95Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
0.7Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
20Fingers
4Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Engine Eberhardt
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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