TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
Dr. Burnout Betty
Strength70
Speed85
Endurance95
Technique92
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dr. Burnout Betty VS Shrek
Shrek
95Strength
50Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
4.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Shrek
Violence concluded.
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