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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Strength70
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique92
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time" VS Chaos Windfall
Chaos Windfall

Chaos Windfall

72Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.7Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Chaos Windfall
Violence concluded.
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