TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
Fish Summer
Strength40
Speed98
Endurance60
Technique82
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fish Summer VS Joey Fatone
Joey Fatone
70Strength
60Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
2.5Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fish Summer
Violence concluded.
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