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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 26, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Static Cling

Static Cling

Strength61
Speed89
Endurance78
Technique72
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Static Cling VS The Implied
The Implied

The Implied

55Strength
83Speed
77Endurance
85Technique
1.0Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Implied
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule