TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
Meatball Massacre Mike
Strength90
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique80
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Meatball Massacre Mike VS Swole Patroll
Swole Patroll
98Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
65Technique
4.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Meatball Massacre Mike
Violence concluded.
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