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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 26, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
404 Not Found

404 Not Found

Strength85
Speed95
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Not Found VS Dean of Discipline
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

85Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
90Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
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