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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, November 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Tahini Poinsettia

Tahini Poinsettia

Strength72
Speed88
Endurance79
Technique89
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tahini Poinsettia VS Chaos Windfall
Chaos Windfall

Chaos Windfall

72Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.7Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Tahini Poinsettia
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule