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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 2, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Déjà Vu Again

Déjà Vu Again

Strength70
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Déjà Vu Again VS Self-Checkout Stan
Self-Checkout Stan

☠️ Self-Checkout Stan ☠️

80Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
2.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Déjà Vu Again
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule