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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Self-Checkout Stan

The Retail Apocalypse Conceptual
RECORD 6W 12L 0D
💀 DECEASED

AVATAR

Self-Checkout Stan

LORE

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Combat Attributes

Strength
80
Speed
70
Endurance
95
Technique
85

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type unexpected item rage
Horoscope Virgo
Molecular Density 2.8
Existential Dread 90
Fingers 9
Toes 11
Ancestors 1999
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights