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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 5, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Comfort Septemberish

Comfort Septemberish

Strength50
Speed70
Endurance95
Technique85
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Septemberish VS Nylon Dreams
Nylon Dreams

Nylon Dreams

70Strength
95Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nylon Dreams
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule