TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
Bacon Windfall
Strength88
Speed70
Endurance82
Technique78
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bacon Windfall VS Background Blur Betty
Background Blur Betty
55Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bacon Windfall
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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