TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-07-25
APPROVED
Tahini Poinsettia
Strength70
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tahini Poinsettia VS Cell Longarms
Cell Longarms
60Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
22Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Tahini Poinsettia
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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