TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-07-25
APPROVED
Lance Bass
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lance Bass VS Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish
50Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lance Bass
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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