TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-29-25
APPROVED
Slobby Joe Jr.
Strength96
Speed75
Endurance60
Technique69
Molecular Density30.0
Existential Dread98
Fingers12
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Slobby Joe Jr. VS Miss Demeanor
Miss Demeanor
75Strength
78Speed
82Endurance
65Technique
31.5Molecular Density
89Existential Dread
0Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slobby Joe Jr.
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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