TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-07-25
APPROVED
Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique90
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread35
Fingers7
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy" VS Shuffleboard Shirley
Shuffleboard Shirley
50Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
95Technique
1.3Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
10Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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