TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-30-25
APPROVED
Donut Handler
Strength80
Speed65
Endurance86
Technique79
Molecular Density62.7
Existential Dread49
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Donut Handler VS Soap Scum Supreme
Soap Scum Supreme
70Strength
82Speed
71Endurance
77Technique
2.6Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Donut Handler
Violence concluded.
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