TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-30-25
APPROVED
Stretch Filigree
Strength50
Speed95
Endurance85
Technique90
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread45
Fingers20
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stretch Filigree VS Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
81Strength
65Speed
99Endurance
88Technique
2.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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