TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-07-25
APPROVED
Mike Tyson
Strength98
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mike Tyson VS Fish Summer
Fish Summer
40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
82Technique
1.1Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mike Tyson
Violence concluded.
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