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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 8, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Meaning Seeker

The Meaning Seeker

Strength60
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique92
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread98
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Meaning Seeker VS Lawn Care Larry
Lawn Care Larry

Lawn Care Larry

70Strength
75Speed
88Endurance
80Technique
2.5Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Lawn Care Larry
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule