TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-17-26
APPROVED
Stu Trololol
Strength25
Speed60
Endurance40
Technique95
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stu Trololol VS Dr. Membrane PhD
Dr. Membrane PhD
34Strength
67Speed
81Endurance
118Technique
0.9Molecular Density
73Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dr. Membrane PhD
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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