TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
☠️ Chris Kirkpatrick ☠️
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS Stinky Pete
Stinky Pete
55Strength
90Speed
50Endurance
85Technique
1.7Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Stinky Pete
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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