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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, January 19, 2026 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Frozen Screen Frank

Frozen Screen Frank

Strength70
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Frozen Screen Frank VS Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish

Comfort Septemberish

50Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Comfort Septemberish
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule