TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
Stinky Pete
Strength55
Speed90
Endurance50
Technique85
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread40
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stinky Pete VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda
50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Stinky Pete
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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