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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 21, 2026 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sunday Night Dread

Sunday Night Dread

Strength73
Speed78
Endurance72
Technique77
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread96
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sunday Night Dread VS Nancy From HR
Nancy From HR

Nancy From HR

66Strength
87Speed
84Endurance
63Technique
83.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
12Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nancy From HR
Violence concluded.
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