Help
Discord YouTube

🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 22, 2026 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Syrup Strangler

Syrup Strangler

Strength78
Speed74
Endurance73
Technique75
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread42
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Syrup Strangler VS Sunday Night Dread
Sunday Night Dread

Sunday Night Dread

73Strength
78Speed
72Endurance
77Technique
2.0Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Syrup Strangler
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule