TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-11-25
APPROVED
Mayhem Breakfast
Strength75
Speed87
Endurance69
Technique90
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Spandex Nightmare
Spandex Nightmare
78Strength
90Speed
79Endurance
94Technique
2.9Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Spandex Nightmare
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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